My help pill
A day out for the Bradgate Writers Unit at the zoo.
As the cuckoo clock rings out,
It’s time to jump out of my coffin And put on my Primark suit. Down the apples and pears to
Barbie and Ken’s roadside cafe For a tankard of hot brown soup.
Then out in my space-suit
As I skip and hop like the Michelin Man.
I arrive at the farm run by the NHS;
All the animals will be there.
As I push open the hospital door To a 1960’s iKEA conference room
With Mr Funny, Mr Silly, Mr Tickle, Mr Greedy, Mr Happy,
Miss Busy, Miss Impossible, Goldilocks and the three bears And Snow White asleep in the corner.
We all wait for the clipboard manager as she’s late.
Miss Scatty Head is never on time.
Tarzan announces the arrival of Jane;
All the apes and chimpanzees go mad.
The Queen shouts, “Order order in the court,
This is a library not a clown’s circus!”
We all take our betting slips and Take out our feathers in ink.
We write in Latin like Pam Ayres and Shakespeare.
As we all stand up one by one and sing out our pieces;
George Michael, Freddie Mercury, Gary Barlow, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse and Olivia Newton-John,
All the football fans cheer and chant.
Then it’s time for the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.
As Big Ben sounds ‘time’s up’, Tony Hart, Vincent Van Gogh and Pablo Picasso walk in time for croquet.
With red and yellow cards and a Black Jack on a cricket pitch
In a game of pinball machines, All the rabbits roll down the holes.
As the school bell sounds out ‘Time’s up!’ -
Goodbye, goodbye, farewell Charlie Brown, Homer Simpson, Madge, Top Cat, Robin Hood, Miss Marion -
I’ll see you for another adventure next week!
As the cuckoo clock rings out,
It’s time to jump out of my coffin And put on my Primark suit. Down the apples and pears to
Barbie and Ken’s roadside cafe For a tankard of hot brown soup.
Then out in my space-suit
As I skip and hop like the Michelin Man.
I arrive at the farm run by the NHS;
All the animals will be there.
As I push open the hospital door To a 1960’s iKEA conference room
With Mr Funny, Mr Silly, Mr Tickle, Mr Greedy, Mr Happy,
Miss Busy, Miss Impossible, Goldilocks and the three bears And Snow White asleep in the corner.
We all wait for the clipboard manager as she’s late.
Miss Scatty Head is never on time.
Tarzan announces the arrival of Jane;
All the apes and chimpanzees go mad.
The Queen shouts, “Order order in the court,
This is a library not a clown’s circus!”
We all take our betting slips and Take out our feathers in ink.
We write in Latin like Pam Ayres and Shakespeare.
As we all stand up one by one and sing out our pieces;
George Michael, Freddie Mercury, Gary Barlow, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse and Olivia Newton-John,
All the football fans cheer and chant.
Then it’s time for the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.
As Big Ben sounds ‘time’s up’, Tony Hart, Vincent Van Gogh and Pablo Picasso walk in time for croquet.
With red and yellow cards and a Black Jack on a cricket pitch
In a game of pinball machines, All the rabbits roll down the holes.
As the school bell sounds out ‘Time’s up!’ -
Goodbye, goodbye, farewell Charlie Brown, Homer Simpson, Madge, Top Cat, Robin Hood, Miss Marion -
I’ll see you for another adventure next week!
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